these are notes. musings.
i lack rigor in my edit. i lack rigor in my editing practice. choreographically, emotionally, interpersonally. it is a habit. i become a receiver for that to which i attune. i sometimes lack boundary and perspective and am often consumed. it is all the words you need me to use. to make you feel good about what you do. about what i am doing here. about what to do.
my codependency and narcissism are punishing. i finally recognise this and so decide to change.
it is relationality – the process of intersection that interests me.
so what ?
take the being that you are and the ways in which you see and find out what is most useful – most true. transmit this to others from the ‘place’ of you. from your light. as energetic matter.
you = matter.
*place of you: in this place you are moving, the place is also moving.
it is language that leads our thinking. it is the collective understanding of an idea, hope, feeling, observation, atrocity, banal incident. it is our perception.
the act of perceiving. leads to perception. your perception (which is changeable) is different from you.
the perceived. the perceived when perceived. the perceiver. the act of perception. the idea of the perceived. the perception.
it is also the un-perceived. it is not only the perceived, but the imperceivable about the perceived. and the idea that there are non-perceptables which we perceive and this also forms the perceived’s existence to us.
we structure existence.
what do words do? they move. poetic. pandemic. spreading.. catching. they can change perception and reality, too.
feeling perceptions built by words told to me, shown to me, alongside movement/actions. words become action through use. through our movement of them – from you to who or you to you they move – transmission. it is my understanding or perception that i know nothing and it is the possibility of not knowing that also forms the idea of what i don’t know and what i think i do.
bitch, you don’t know how to tie your shoe.
it is all it is not.
green is not green.,
green is made of all the colors it absorbs.
what you see as green is so because green it is not absorbed.
it is that which it is not.
what is perceived is not its constitution..
what we perseeve. sieve perceive. see.
that paint is. grass is. we are green.
so this wave. this light moving. that allows me to see.
this time that is space by movement.
or is time movement itself, and . its not self ??
green? where do you come from? do you have an intention with me? a life force driving you? is light pure motion with no thought? robots seem to think. but technology is not light. or is it what it is not? is all existence movement + conduit? is this equation to solve time? vibrating creates mass and rays. what are you, light? conduit (space) allows for movement (change) and perception (reality). is this time?
what is this thing* traveling*?
to cover our masses with sight?
.thing* Traveling* am i the vibration and the conduit along with others or am i perceiving you all into being? and myself into we?
Key Interest for me i see are .
the thing and its not — (spectral, non-dualist) for instance, instead of self / not-self – it is perhaps about the plural of OR. these theoretical musings sometimes change my life’s philosophies.
Key Interest for me i see are ..
perception. changing — neuroscience of things – applied neuroscience in community settings through movement experiences and relational practice with other human beings. we have agency in changing our experience . our reality. our habits of being. my work brings new ways into being through a varied practice of being. which includes the comfortable duality or multiplicity that we practice if we have things separated as physical (mass/body/conduit) and imagined (thoughts feelings perception) (perception included here w some reservation, as i believe in that which we cannot perceive having mass and having an existence that we cannot imagine and i think this is different than the economy of existence – which is different than existence itself… whoa i gotta unpack that economy of existence shit. money in mindfulness. societal trends : traditions. the good drop on signs from ancestors and all beings. my grandma and your grandma, sitting by the fire. __ COLE – do another staging of ‘matches” NOW>
oh shit ok.)
Key interest for me i see are …
Practice as Work
a few days after writing this I did another iteration of “matches” with the docent class at wexner center for the arts where i am sometimes a guest artist. i decided to incorporate a live-feed recording and an onstage tv. the students performed three miniterations with me of “matches” as an educational experience. i enjoy the making, the research, and the play when i straddle performance and facilitation. the first miniteration was a surprising success, the second lagged and flopped, and the third was solid exploration. their dialogue surrounding the experience was filled with ideas about leading, heightened awareness and responsivity, listening across a group and to your own needs, discomfort and empathy, equality and forming community. i am fascinated by the ors of choice-making (of myself and others) that occur when i pose these experiments.