and with that,
weigh your bags.
in other words, what are you bringing to the party?
i haven’t yet faced the person i was before.
i walk to the other side of the room.
no thank you.
so the part of me that gets in the way of listening can go back to sleep.
you have a few hours before there is something else you must do.
in to it
the way sometimes i wake to to where i am
like with coffee and ground
feels sped up and spread out.
like taking more space in a focused way.
if you had everything you wanted you could never see.
name your family, home in this city
people will be out there
dream: i soared around him
i was a large winged
creature flying around
to ward off any thing
and know nothing.
listen beyond a story, something is waiting
write it out down
15 times 3
i get a turn
the real one
i’m grateful to have lived all the love i’ve found. and that which i did not even know of. i am grateful to have always a steady crush. i fancy people when they are talented beyond belief. it gets me most every time. there are times that hurt me. we can always talk about that. here though, let us talk about times that get us every time.
i wonder what we need to begin?
we have it
now to separate from the gunk and constant information. how loud do we need to be to be seen. oh wait that is not the way.
we are to get up from the stream and walk away.
it’d be a quick turn to labor and all of us out. real quick the govermenemmt machina could squeeze us into forms of disdain. let us count the good things a society means.
where do we answer these and in what form do we see community. in what ways. focus on these.
the clock dings a time 6 minutes slow. but correct nonetheless.
i am happy it is 6 minutes. that phrase always makes me feel like i belong to something. a very specific room at a house party where i was new and people were like no way dude. that was the first time i remember it being a problem. drinking. that my body did not like alcohol in it. the thought before was a balance of the sides and ingestions.
and in the last 10 years i’m like
let me put something else on that scale
like grass or books or travel
i have a bunch of dreams waiting.
ones i’m currently living.
i wonder how my imagination forms in the word
because of where i was born
on a different continent, block.
and the language itself programmed my brain to imagine things no person who does not speak that language, who does not live there could imagine or experience or even notice
and so we continue.
i have had plenty of pain
i need a rest or two.
i need some good hard work.
i need some space and whole nice floor where i can heat a fireplace and dance on wood. this is my goal. by 45 years old. that’s less than 2 years from now.
written early 2023
this edit (version) april 29, 2023