Tag: meaning

Poor homophobes

nicogarlo
me reflected in gold fleck screen

they really do have it hard.

some of them believe their children will not go to heaven!

how sad it must be to live that way

I mean if you don’t believe in heaven, that’s one thing

but say that you did

and you believe that you’ll be there

with most everyone

you love

but the child you bore

will burn in some hell

not because of anything they’ve done,

but because of who they are

and who they love.

I pity the phobes.

/

and what an evil sect

to teach and train

this heartbreak in

/

but that’s how they get you

god money sin

god money sin

/

AND THESE POOR NATIONALISTS

you know these guys have it really rough.

most of them think they have to kill human beings for land and sea!

can you believe?

what a tortured way of living

because if this is your truth

you are never enough

never have enough

and it hurts so much

since you don’t know anything,

and what you were sold

was to do you in!

so you take someone’s

life and land

but your soul, then

it eats you from within

I pity them

since one way or another, everyone learns

in the end

/

and what an evil sect

to breed and burn

this hatred in

/

but that’s how they get you

god money death

god money death

CHURCH AND STATE.

-nicole garlando (cole)
April 16, 11:00pm 2024

Human Interviews Episode 17

nicogarlo

Episode_17 out now on #mixcloud has @cole______g (Cole Garlando) in conversation with Shakya and Nicole Kim. This ep. features some of their thoughts and ideas from that day on #love, #perception, #songwriting, #psychosis, #meditation, and #self. Shakya, and Nicole Kim (aka Dakimi) are stellar human beings currently living in Germany. Shakya is a former Buddhist monk who is currently a university student of psychology. Nicole Kim is a singer/songwriter who recently finished her master’s thesis on solar energy. Inside this episode you will hear an original song, “Sell Me Two” with lyrics by Dakimi in collaboration with handpan musician, Mandakini. This episode was recorded in September 2022 and was technically the final episode of Human Interviews created for @verge.fm though it has not been available to listen to until now via this link! Stay tuned for more new episodes of HUMAN INTERVIEWS throughout 2023 as the project continues ❤ Thank you to Shakya and Nicole Kim for their share and significant share that day; to all those who support and contribute to this project throughout the years; and to everyone who is listening. I’m so joyful and honored to be sharing these again. Take good care out there. Listen to the episode

try and keep up

nicogarlo

just listen_

do what calls to you from inside your voice_

under your belly_

behind the heart of you_

what is that thing that resides there?

what is that move that is made_ 

from that which comes from another place?

not of this plane.

a place that has no name_

that which cannot be named_

it is not god_

for god is a name_

an idea_ 

we have created_ 

to try to understand these things_

to try to understand anything_

there is no name that can be called that tells me who or what you are_

here, “you” is the unnameable thing_

the voice inside the voice_

under my bones_

behind my blood source_

you are there and i can feel you_

when i sleep _

when i wake_

i have no idea of your origin_

though i imagine no idea could hold it_

and from there i expand to trust_

whatever will be done, must.

when you speak through me_

i am sure_

i feel in line wth the universe_

i am me again_

often though it’s so loud i cannot hear you_

and i am operating_ 

as if outside my self _

so i quiet down_

i write_

i come closer to my body _

by feeling and observing_

i let the judgement drop about what is real and what is not_

my imagination and stories quicken, to try and keep up_

i slow them again_

to let my body run.

-nicole garlando (cole) 2023

something in the way

nicogarlo

A foundation of trust is the best way to allow for joy to take over when our feet falter. We have nowhere else to be but on our path. We are no one else but our selves. When we decide, there is a choice. That is all that is needed. Moving forward on a path that we choose is the only way to progress a journey. With each choice a decision is made, large or small. We total our past lives. They are stacked one on the other and we stand atop. A totem. On the shoulders of all those we were before. What I have learned, both useful and destructive (which can also be useful) is brought forth from these previous lives. Whether I can consciously remember or not, I am affected by the person I was, and was, and was. There is no birth of my soul that does not bring forth something. My smile, even hideous, can still bring a smile to those around me. I can still listen, like the trees have listened to me since I began to scream. To whisper. To breathe. I can still listen to you and feel what you mean. I can be affected or not. That is my choice. When time ends in this body I will bring forth new meaning to things. To my experience. This life has brought me lessons compounded as if I were three. As if there were three of me. An ignorant deity; a righteous human; a free spirit. I am all of these. It is the small things that make me ache: the sun  beaming on my skin and the flutter of trees. These whimpers of the universe are the evidence of interconnectivity. The cosmos breathing. If life is movement, give it all to me. Let me be movement itself. Let dancing be in every gesture I make. In the washing of a dish. In the calming of a friend. In the walk down the hallway, exhausted and trying to mend. Let it all be dancing. Let it all be connected to what I seek. Let nothing be separate from me. My dreams, my pain, my passion. These are not me but they are informed by the me that I cannot pinpoint. The elusive self that was present at the moment of my conception. Before any love, fear or experience shaped the vessel which carries me. The energy that I cannot name but that allows me to be. God has no name. No form. No distinction from anything. The eye cannot look at itself. It cannot see its own form or processing. I am quiet and she is quite still beside me. Love has no bounds while every word and every thought has boundaries. Limitless sky take me in. Let it move through me. Evolve and reflect. Fuck up. Try again.  Repeat. I am grateful that I keep going. I am grateful for thee. I am grateful to be silent and to feel worthy of existing. May I continue to be. Somewhere in my belly I know where I’m going. Where I am and where I want to be are two points. A line the shortest distance between. I sometimes prefer circuit-ry. Spiraling. Thank you to the lives I have lived and to all the many people who have loved me. I remember you in my belly. In the god of me.

written in her car at the park
March 13, 2023 4:18p est

LIMPID | definition in the _ dictionary › limpid6 days ago — limpid meaning: 1. clear and transparent: 2. clearly expressed and easily understood: 3. clear and transparent: . Learn more.

nicogarlo

up and away the sky booms. we crawl from the roof like old baboons. limpid* souls. low and steady. in front of a storm to set a few. i find her. the rain is warm and we run through. we close all the doors. open certain windows, the rain blows round, full blooms.

for every one, there are two.

one becomes two.
three becomes two.
so, to one again i say:
Two

memory: down between me the cello booms. too true for this time of in-between light.

before the sun rises

in the back of my ribs

i feel its boom

not soft

but gentle 

fine curves

sound

indigo blue

thick fumes

wave from its mouth

the sun blazes

if only it were in view.


when i die

p[lant me w a treeling

and watch me grow

no casket

no flames

only soft brown soil

give me the ground when i go

to feel the falling snow

to feed it is it grows

to provide air of flow

i am a tree

bowing for every one.

for every one there are two

i dance with you

held close and then let go

in-between
open and close

up sharp

around the edges

round, full

dance with me slow

until i go.

-nicole garlando

*limpid souls added two weeks after i wrote this poem during esri2021. today i came across the use of limpidity by andreas weber, also in reference to baboons, in the book “matter and desire”.

HUMAN INTERVIEWS

nicogarlo

i am grateful to conduct interview dialogues with people of different place, experience and belief on ideas of self/not; time; wondrous things; and unanswerable questions.

in 2014 i began to collect audio interviews on my travels and where i live. since then they have been used as accompaniment in the classes and workshops i facilitate; in community rehearsal processes; and in live public performances. each year, a new question presents itself and each interaction with friends and strangers is a teacher in its own way. i believe asking questions of ourselves and imagining new worlds is important for human beings.

Listen to the monthly radio show on VERGE.FM where i curate episodes that share excerpts from these intimate interviews.  

Next episode!
episode 6 : Friday, July 16 @ 8p et
Listen online via VERGE.FM or tap in on the Verge.FM app

LISTEN NOW to archives:

episode 5 (aired Friday, June 18 2021 @ 8p et)
episode 4 (aired Friday, May 14 2021 @ 8p et)
episode 3 (aired Friday, March 19 2021 @ 8p et)
episode 2 (aired Friday, Feb 19 2021 @ 8p et)
episode 1 (aired Friday, Jan 22 2021 @ 6p et)

the interviews represent perspectives from a specific moment in the life of each person you hear speaking. opinions do not necessarily reflect my own, or their own past that moment. the answers to these unanswerable questions are not as important to me as the interactions with each person and the act of asking oneself these questions, listening to others’ ideas and perspectives, and being open to change as life goes.

autœthnographic study: the dialogues themselves are a reflection of the questions i wonder on, of time and change and perception. often i get in the way but i am learning.

all participants are recorded consentually. all participants remain anonymous for safety / privacy / solidarity. all participants have consented to their dialogue being shared through my creative projects, classes, and social processes. thank you to all the people in my life who discuss their thoughts with me, off and on a machine. i am honored to share time and dialogue with you and with everyone who is listening. i share these human interviews with gratitude. – cole g

Human Interviews © 2014 by NiCole Garlando is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0. To view a copy of this license, visit http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/

the dream again

nicogarlo

catch me
in that dream again
i remember quite clearly:

i wake in a small tall house with three levels

curtains billow through sun beams and open panes

there is a dog on each floor, sleep / waking

i am there with love 

who is away just now 

and will be home again

a sense of food

clean water and linen

clear and lived in

things grow in

space

outside 

much green

dark colors of things 

new growth and that which has been

there are no people 

in my eye or 

earshot of me

direction above and round

only trees

curves of land 

of skies

of me 

of animal

of plant beings

flesh swollen and robust

i move with ease

tall or just taking up my whole being

everything in me 

loves and 

moves with me 

as i am a perfect   

version of me.

i wake next to a creature 

who is waking 

simultaneously

effortlessly i rise 

wind blowing

light into the window 

by way of curtains 

that touch paintings

stroke walls 

my body is grace and ground

rising from bed is no effort no thought

much light

breath easy from work in the trees

i own nothing of this place and its open curtains

the dogs with me

heel, healing

i am nothing except love for all things

even what is not deserving

maybe especially 

definitely i have

harmed and been harmed

seen truth  

determined change  

in my being.

i move swiftly 

flow over the left side of the bed

left foot on the ground

i swing

face up

to start the day

or to continue it rather

as some day has passed away.

i understand where i am heading

and know specifically

healing is anywhere

i am protected

at home in this place

i can tell because in my dream

i sleep with the windows open.

– cole garlando

image: by cole
id: upshot of white blossoms against a blue sky streaked by a single airplane trail

Bebe and a practice with Meg Stuart scores

nicogarlo

art by john pounds, photo by bebe miller
photo by bebe: us, reflected in a work by artist john pounds

ø
More conversation has taken us on since then.
And right now I think of time as the substance by which action can be perceived. Because Time feels to me like:
the carved vessel / the act of its sculpting
as well as
the volume of space / the vibration therein.

Twin Body – Different people form the line of my practice with this score. What has emerged as meaningful to me is the time of touch. What I mean is how I feel time differently in the places of me that are in contact with an other – with the floor or any material, really. As in the ‘slo crawl’ score from my work in which I merge and unmerge the Earth with my body, belly to the floor. I imagine I’m part of the cement structure of the building, and the water flowing underneath. Cells, one by one pull from their connection to the floor while bringing it along andI narrow the scope to further constrict as durational… but that is with the floor. This is quite a different attention: to the change of perception while in connection with moving, choosing, flesh of human.

Continue reading “Bebe and a practice with Meg Stuart scores” →

you sit on it

nicogarlo

img_5032
photo by me, chip shooting kat

coda: 27Jan2017

last week I enter large,
a door frame.

the door is open,
light is on.

“what are you doing?” (I mean what is that, specifically)

“working, cole..” a curt flush from behind the front of alaptoponadesk.
annoyed but playful.

i keep my large at the door and insert: “will you be my creative partner again?”

a look away. nothing but eyes to a bookshelf, balking time and academic work, searching logic on their right, which is my left they say: “someday.”

“i’ll take it” withdraw quick, stroll to distance.

original to coda: 3mos before:
swallowed by the whole world. Continue reading “you sit on it” →

walkeye and the time-being

nicogarlo

img_4554
photo nicole garlando

Listening to people. Their lives.

Walking home on Sunday I stop to talk to a man and his dog. We speak deeply, quickly. He brings up time and humanity which has me telling him about the interviews I’ve been collecting over the last few years. How the process is “unmooring me” as another friend has put it. He squares his eyes to mine. They change somehow and his being seems to reflect the space around him. He says “You’re lost. You don’t know where you are.”  We talk for a short while. A bit about his family, the dog. He tells me about being in the Vietnam War, how our government was “killing the wrong people… innocent people there living on land… it was horrible”. We walk on a bit. He tells me about his recent stroke; his gait and connection to gravity echo his description of this altered state of being. I shift as I listen and stumble on the uneven sidewalk. He reaches out to steady me. His eyes reach out. After a while I need to go as the encounter begins to circle; another element comes in and begins to pile. For the time being, our time unaligns. I feel it, say good evening and walk on. As I do he raises “a penny for your thoughts?” the same moment I call “see you again”.   

for the time being
for the time-being

pullquotes

nicogarlo

I recently submitted a short paper for a theory and philosophy course with Dr. Harmony Bench that analyzes movement from the cosmic to the cellular. The following lines of my submission she’d underlined. It’s interesting to see where people connect with me. i put the “perception” one in bold below because i love it so.

“The dialogue I direct is one interested in the idea that we (in form and in sense) are weight in time, carved into being by movement”

“… the fleshbody as something other than self – it is an object of our subjective perception”

“What I’m looking at is our place of perception. In that place you are moving. The place is also moving.”

Continue reading “pullquotes” →